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What Can We Do For Our Kids?

Updated: Aug 14, 2023



April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, which already has a pretty heavy connotation. Child abuse is one of those things that everyone has heard about, and maybe knows about, but there's definitely a lack of understanding behind what it can mean and how it's defined. So, to start off with, let's go over some basic info on what child abuse is:


First of all, there are different kinds of child abuse. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse. Physical and sexual abuse are the two that most people think of pretty quickly when they think of the abuse of a child. Here are some more official definitions of what each kind of abuse is taken from the Child Welfare Information Gateway that's run by the US Department of Health and Human Services (2022):


- Physical child abuse: a nonaccidental injury caused by someone towards a child. This can include a variety of things, such as biting, hitting, and kicking. In some states and territories, physical abuse can also include any acts that could put a child at risk of substantial harm.

- Emotional child abuse: this is an injury towards a child's psychological and/or emotional wellbeing, and can be seen through changes in behaviors, emotions, or thought processes.

- Neglect: when a parent or guardian doesn't care for the child's needs or overall wellbeing, such as not supplying them with food, shelter, or appropriate supervision.

- Sexual child abuse: this includes sexual exploitation (like the making of child pornography) or trafficking, as well as sexual acts done to a child or with a child without consent (and keep in mind, the age of consent varies between states and the age of the offender plays a role in this, too).


All of these topics sound kind of scary, and it can put a parent or guardian on edge, thinking about ways that their child could be hurt. So the purpose of this month, then, is to bring awareness to preventing abuse (making it less likely to happen), as well as detecting abuse in one's own child or someone else's.


COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT

One of the major factors that impact child abuse is parental (or guardian) support. Research shows that when a guardian feels they have support around them and help if they need it, rates of child abuse and neglect decrease (this according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway) (2018). With that information, we need a community for parents that allows them to know they aren't alone and have help should they need it. There are lots of community organizations that allow people who aren't guardians to get involved in the protection of kids. These are great, because they provide information and give a chance to reach out into the community around you and help out. Here is a website to just some organizations that you can get in contact with: Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Organizations . And remember that donating to causes can be just as important and beneficial as donating your time.


RECOGNIZING THE SIGNS

So, what if you aren't a guardian, and you aren't super interested in volunteering at a community center for kids and their families, or you can't afford/want to donate? First of all, that's okay. You don't have to, because just knowing some signs and symptoms of child abuse can protect a child. Stanford has an excellent list of what to look for in kids that have been abused. Some examples include excessive crying, bedwetting (inappropriate to age), self-harm behaviors, PTSD symptoms, chronic pain (like headaches, stomachaches, etc.), poor hygiene, burns, bruising, STDs, and genital discomfort. Keep in mind that some of these things do just happen sometimes. Kids get bruises. Kids get headaches and stomachaches, even if they aren't being abuse (if they're anxious kids, for example). So, what questions that should likely go along with these (or other symptoms listed on the hyperlinked Stanford site) are the following:

  1. Does the description of what happened match the actual injury? Does the story ever change?

  2. Are there inconsistencies in what the parent says?

  3. Have they had a lot of Emergency Room visits? Or, are they not receiving medical care for something that they should receive care for?

These questions are important, because they can provide a lot of information on the circumstances that child is in. It's best not to go into every situation, and assume that a child with a big bruise on their leg is being abused, so knowing the right questions to ask and behaviors to look for is key.


WHAT CAN PARENTS/GUARDIANS DO?

Another factor is to look at what parents should be doing or teaching their kids, so that any child abuse can be detected and reported as soon as possible. Here are some key factors in terms of parenting that can help reduce child abuse:

  1. It's recommended that children learn the anatomically accurate words for private parts (penis, vagina, etc.) so that if someone does touch or hurt them sexually, they are able to articulate that. Teach your kids that their bodies are theirs, and theirs alone. People need permission to touch them.

  2. Notice if your child is afraid of a specific adult-- does their anxiety go up? Do they cry? Also, get to know your child's behaviors. Have they changed? Are they suddenly scared/nervous/depressed? Don't be afraid to ask them.

  3. Teach your child that no matter what, they can come to you if something feels wrong. Remind them that even if someone says "don't tell mommy/daddy/whoever the guardian is" that they will be protected if they tell you.

  4. Don't discipline when you're angry. Try to take a moment to cool off. Words can be just as harmful as physical abuse.

  5. If you're feeling overwhelmed, find support, whether that be a parenting group, Facebook page, or time with friends or a partner.

  6. Here is a great webpage for more information on preventing child abuse in general at preventchildabuse.org

MAKING A REPORT

Anyone can make a child abuse report. Some professions are required to report, such as teachers, mental health counselors, or police officers-- these people are legally required to report if child abuse is suspected and they're called mandated reporters. But let's say you aren't a mandated reporter, and maybe you don't have training in terms of how to make a report, yet you know one needs to be made. Each state will have a different phone number to contact, as state laws differ (including in terms of what constitutes abuse). The hyperlink here is a list of the phone numbers you can call in every state, and most states also have a website you can visit.


If you suspect immediate physical harm/danger to a child, don't just make a report, call 911 to ensure the protection of a child. Again, you don't have to be a mandated reporter or a guardian to do that. To prevent child abuse, not just in the month of April but every month, anyone can make a report to help children. For us to move forward as a society, we need to protect our kids, recognize the signs, have a supportive community, and support parents and guardians.





References and More Reading:


Child Welfare Information Gateway. Child abuse and neglect prevention organizations. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&rolType=Custom&RS_ID=75&rList=ROL


Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2022). Definitions of child abuse and neglect. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Children's Bureau. https://www.childwelfare. gov/ topics/systemwide/laws-policies/statutes/define/


Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2018). Preventing child abuse and neglect. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau. https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/preventingcan.pdf


Child Welfare Information Gateway. State Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Numbers. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&rolType=custom&rs_id=5


Prevent Child Abuse America. Ten Ways to Help Prevent Child Abuse. https://preventchildabuse.org/resources/ten-ways-to-help-prevent-child-abuse/


Stanford Medicine. Signs & Symptoms of Abuse/Neglect.


Wikipedia (2023). Mandated reporters. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandated_reporter


JB









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