Death – it doesn’t matter how often it happens or how unexpectedly it comes, we are never prepared for it. Death has no respect for age, ethnicity, gender, political group or sexuality. Certainly, we all share one thing in common: we too must face death.
If you’re reading this I’m sure you’ve been acquainted with the chill of loss. No more to hear their laughter or their voice; never more to see their smile. There are so many of us who have said the words “I would have never thought you’d be gone so soon." We've lost individuals who have left a mark on our lives in some way. Maybe they gave time, energy, or finances. Maybe they were “your person”, always there for whatever you needed whenever you needed it.
No matter the person lost, dealing with the pain of the loss is difficult. It as if losing that person has left a gaping hole in your chest that never seems to go away. You may have tried countless things to fill the empty feeling, whether binge drinking, stuffing our face with our favorite food or random hook-ups just to try and forget. Grief at times can burden us so heavily that it seems endless.
But the way you cope doesn't have to end there. As at therapist, I’ve learned that being aware of your emotions, understanding the stages of grief, and recognizing that it is a natural response to loss can contribute to a healthier coping process. According to the article The Five Stages of Grief, “throughout life, we experience many instances of grief. Children may grieve a divorce, a wife may grieve the death of her husband, a teenager might grieve the ending of a relationship, or you might have grieved the loss of a pet.” (psycom.net, 2022). Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and can be due to so many different factors and events. This article explores the five stages of grief that we journey through when experiencing the loss of something or someone we cherished. The five stages mentioned are:
• Denial: Refusing to accept the reality of a loved one's death, expecting them to return.
• Anger: Expressing frustration, blame, or intense anger towards the situation or oneself.
• Bargaining: Making deals or bargains in an attempt to change or reverse the circumstances.
• Depression: Feeling deep sadness, withdrawing from others, experiencing despair and emptiness.
• Acceptance: Coming to terms with the loss, finding a way to live with it and adapt to the changes.
As a therapist who has worked with various individuals with some level of grief it doesn’t seem as if there is any particular order in the progression of the stages we move through. We can experience stages at different times, move back and forth between them, and even skip some altogether. By being aware of the process, I came to the understanding that it was okay not to be okay. I understood my clients needed time, space and someone to talk to. Realizing that grief had a process allowed me to be more patient with my clients and their emotions.
So today if you are experiencing some type of grief I want you to know it's okay not to be okay. You are entitled to your emotions to process them in a healthy way. Remember that it's okay to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.
RM
留言